That's Life...

We have had lots of changes in our little family in the past few months. We have all three of our kids living at home and along with them all their pets. It's great having all the kids together.  They all get along so good and I love that.  We all have such different work and college schedules that we are rarely all together though.  However; the pets have taken some getting used to.  I always thought of myself as a animal lover. But, having two dogs and four cats has made me second guess that.  It's been a lot to handle. They all have different personalities and most are destructive.  I can't begin to add up the money these pets have cost us with the things they destroy.  I have just decided to embrace it.  That which you fight only gets stronger, right?  When I see the happiness that these pets bring to our kids, I guess it becomes worth it.  After all chairs are just chairs and plants are just plants and shredded carpet can be replaced...you get the point.  Things are just objects and I don't place importance in them.  Our kids happiness mean more to me than any house or thing ever could. Meditation and Yoga helps deal with all the crazy pets too!

I should also mention that our kids have all went through changes the last few months too.  All three kids are single.  They were all in long term relationships and within a couple months of each other have all broke up.  Life is like that, you blink and it changes.  Change is good!  That's what I keep telling them anyway.  When one door closes it allows another to open.  Maybe they all need to focus on college right now or maybe they all need to be selfish before they settle down and have families.  I just want them to focus on today and take one day at a time.  Everything happens for a reason even if we may not understand it at the time. 

I have always learned through suffering.  I hope they do to.  Suffering and happiness just go along together.  They have to go through suffering to grow, to move forward and find true happiness. Our minds are very powerful.  I'm trying to stay positive and embrace all these changes.  I wish for only good things to come to the children's ex's.  They too are trying to find their way and they feel this is the right way for them to move forward.  They get no judgement from me.  It's not my job to judge what is right or wrong for others.  I love our kids unconditionally and I'm here through the happy times and the rough times. I want them to live happily in the present moment. I want them to live in the today and find peace, joy and happiness in little things today.  If they can live mindfully today then tomorrow will take care of itself and happiness will come to them.

Merry Christmas to you all.

Merry Christmas to all my friends and family.  I'm truly grateful for every single one of you that has come into my life.  As busy and crazy as this time of year is, make sure you take a minute each day to breathe.  Believe me I know how hard it is.  When life is the most crazy, that's when we need to take time for just 5 minutes of silence.  It's amazing what just 5 minutes can do.  Sometimes I pull in the garage after work and just turn the car off and sit there for a couple minutes before I go in.  That just helps me go in with the right attitude and leave the crazy, stressed work day behind me.  Just taking a few minutes helps me get my mind right and puts me in a good place.  We can all find just a couple minutes a day to do nothing and we deserve it.

 

I enjoy learning more and more about myself and working on growing my spiritual side.  For me, it helps my capacity to love and be kind to others and even to myself.  It helps me to not judge others and their journeys but just be there to support them when they need it.  All of us are here to figure out how to live our best lives and I enjoy every minute of this journey called life.  So I hope in the New Year everyone of you take time, even if it's just 5 minutes in your garage, to just breath.

 

May you all be blessed in the New Year with health, happiness & the gift of time.

 

 

My Experience With Cancer.

Ten years ago I heard those words no one wants to hear "it's cancer."  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I had been to the doctor cause I wasn't feeling good and something told me I needed to be checked out.  I'm not a doctor person at all.  I don't even take aspirin for a headache.  I try to fix everything from within.  I know that sounds crazy but we are what we think.  So I tell myself you don't have a headache because you don't invite that into your life.  Meditate about it and it goes away in no time at all.  That's what works for me no judgement to those of you who swallow a pill to feel better.  Whatever works for you is awesome. 



The doctor called and ask us to come in to talk about the test results.  They also told me to bring a support person.  I pretty much knew the news wouldn't be good when they told me I needed a "support person" to come with me.  Ken and I went and he told us the news.  Ken grabbed my hand and I sat stunned.  I was young and never thought that was going to be the news.  Ken asked a few questions and they told me I needed to schedule my surgery for the following week. Looking back that was a good thing cause I didn't have much time to get upset or worried about the surgery.  We left and Ken asked if I wanted to go get a drink at Applebees and talk.  I agreed, which was strange because I have never been a big drinker.  I think I just wasn't ready to go home and see the kids and my mom.  Mom had stayed with the kids while we went to the appointment.  I knew the second I saw my mom she would know something was wrong (and she did).   I remember being worried about her driving home because she had a half hour drive.  She did her best to not get too upset in front of me.  But I know my mom and I'm sure she cried all the way home.



That night I sat on the edge of Kyle's bed for what seemed like forever and I held Ashley in my arms long after she had fell asleep.  Stephanie was at her moms house so Ken called and talked to Kelly and told her what was going on.  My mind raced with thoughts.  What if Ken has to raise these kids on his own?  What if I can't see the girls walk down the aisle on their wedding day or never get to meet Kyle's wife?  I thought of never meeting my grandchildren.  My parents had already lost one child and I knew they couldn't bare loosing another.  I just couldn't do that to them.  



I wrote each one of the kids a letter before I went into surgery, just in case something went wrong.  On December 23rd, 6 days after we had gotten the news, I was on my way to the hospital for surgery.  I was someone who had never been in the hospital, never broke a bone, never had stitches except for childbirth.  I was not looking forward to it and prayed a lot that morning.  In my head I heard who I believe was my grandma  say, you will be fine now stop worrying.  I heard this as plain as if she were sitting beside me. Surgery went well and I got to go home.  I was so happy to see the kids walk in the door.  Kelly brought Stephanie over to spend the night too.  I felt rough that night but was glad Ken took the next day off work to help me out. Which was almost inpossible for him because he is a retail manager and it was two days before Christmas.


The worse part was waiting to hear if they got all the cancer.  They felt confident after surgery that it had been successful but made no guarantee.  I made the most of Christmas that year and remember feeling very blessed and grateful for every little thing.  January brought a whole new appreciation and caring for life.  I still feel that way today.  I refused to just go through life, I want to live it to the fullest. I made a choice that year to embrace whatever came into my life.  I said thank you for giving me this experience with cancer.  I learned that things we fight make us weaker and that which we embrace, strengthens us.  I am grateful that I had the experience I did.  It changed who I am for the better.



I was one of the lucky ones.  I didn't need chemo or radiation.  They got everything in one surgery.  At that time, I didn't even know that was possible.  I would get to grow old with Ken, get to see the kids grow up, get to watch nephews and nieces get married and have children, get to watch my brother get married to his high school sweetheart, get to see my sister in law and husband have a wonderful life together and get to share our lives with our parents and that's all I could ask for. 


Thank you Lord for giving me a chance to live my life.  I wont waste one minute of it.

I love that life is about choices.

We all have choices everyday from the time we wake up until the time we go to sleep.  I LOVE that.  To me it means everyday when I wake up is a fresh start.  I have the choice to be happy and make it a good day or feel sorry for myself and make it a negative day.  We have the power and the gift in our lives of choice.  If you take time to think about it, how many times a day do you have to make a decision? Between work and home it's almost constantly for me.  I choose to live everyday to the fullest. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to us so we can't take it for granted that it will come.  Don't wait for tomorrow to tell people how you feel about them.  You may not get tomorrow or get to see them again.  I don't want to leave the world without everyone around me knowing exactly how I feel about them.  I want people around me to be happy and positive so that is what I try to put out into the world.  No, I'm not responsible for anyone's happiness but my own.  However, if I can brighten someones day with a smile or a hug I choose to do that.  I'm a "fixer" and want to fix everything for everyone.  I don't like seeing people in pain or going through hard times so if I can make a difference in someone's life I choose to.  Whether it's a smile, a prayer, raising money for a cause or just being there to listen to someone who needs to vent.

We all go through hard times and have bad things happen to us that is out of our control. That is part of life and growing and having our lessons we need to get through while we are here on earth.  What matters is how we choose to deal with them.    

Yoga and body image

One of the benefits of yoga is becoming more comfortable in your own skin. Yoga is a mind body practice and helps me see the positive side of things. Truth is most women aren't happy with their bodies. We all have issues and things we would change. We are never going to live up to the perfect, air brushed bodies we see in the magazines. Those people don't even look like that in real life. I'm a real women, with real flaws and I'm finally okay with that. Yoga has helped me look at my body in amazement of what it can do not what it can't.  Having a loving, thoughtful husband doesn't hurt either. Ken goes out of his way to tell me how much he loves me and tells me I'm perfect just the way I am.  

I wish it wouldn't have taken me this long to appreciate my body. Wake up people and start to appreciate your body too. I will never have the "perfect" body and I don't even believe there is such a thing. I earned every line around my mouth and eyes and wouldn't trade the years of laughter for any of them.  The spirit in me respects the spirit in you.  Namaste    

Some of my favorite quotes....just because.

Thank you for divine order in every aspect of my life.  I say it every morning when I wake up and will until the day I leave this earth.  I was given this mantra by a women named White Dove Crow.  She was a native american women with a beautiful gentleness about her.  She smiled and the room lite up.  I used to visit a couple times a year with her whenever she drove up to Ohio from West Virginia.  I miss talking with her because she was so kind and wise.  I often wonder what happened to her.  She always seemed to know what was going on in my life, what I had been though and what the future held in store for me without me saying one word.  She allowed us to tape every meeting and I have listened to them multiple times over the years.  She taught me about tapping into the beauty that is always around us.  She taught me to still my mind and just listen to the messages coming through. She helped me get in touch with my spirit guide.  I finally got up the nerve to asked her one time what the three swirls of light on the wall beside me meant.  They seemed to follow me wherever I went and I didn't like it because it scared me and I thought it was some kind of ghost.  She looked over and said "that is your spirit guide honey, you see him whenever you need him to come through to you".  I never could have talked to anyone else about that.  I thought people would think I was out of my mind.  Some people probably think I am.  The difference is now I don't care what people think.  I have grown up and I know my truth.  I know God speaks to each one of us differently and if you are open to receive his messages coming through than you will hear them loud and clear.  She opened up my heart and mind to amazing things.  I have very happy memories of those meetings and I'm so glad to have had that time with her.  Someday after I'm dead and gone I hope the kids take time to listen to those tapes. All three of them are mentioned in them multiple times. 

Anyway, onto what this blog was suppose to be about.  I love quotes so I want to share a few of my favorites with you.  Feel free to leave me any quotes that have inspired you.

A lifetime is not what's between the moments of birth and death.
A lifetime is one moment between two little breaths.
The present, the here, the now..
That's all the life we get, we live each moment in full, in kindness, in peace, without regret.. - Chade Meng

To live without HOPE is like not living at all.

The life ahead can only be glorious if you learn to live in total harmony with the Lord.
-Sai Baba

When you know better you do better. Maya Angelou

Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. Every breath we take, every step we take, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

Wow, 2011 is half way over already

This year is half over, we will never get 2011 back.  Have you done everything you wanted to this year?  I'm not one that makes New Year resolutions only to turn around a month later and break them.  If you make and keep them, then you are much better than I am.  I do make goals for myself and my life though.  Have you  learned anything new this year about yourself? I learned a lot about myself actually.  Here are a few....

1).  I judge people way more than I should.  That needs to change.  Who am I to judge anyone.  Last time I checked I was not perfect so what right do I have to judge another human being??  I now set a goal to work on that.  When I find myself saying something I think could be judgmental, I say to my family "is that a judging word?" So they are helping me stay on task.

2).  Some thoughts on happiness....  Spread authentic, happy, enthusiastic loving energy to the world so the world will give that back to you.  Happiness comes easiest to those who promote happiness in others.  Gratefulness is a practice, just like happiness is a choice. That last one is something I heard Russell Simmons say and it has stuck with me this year.

3). Life is precious.  I have always been aware of this but never as much as this week.  We had a friend take their own life this week.  It's very sad and heartbreaking that they felt that was the only way to go.  Meanwhile, we have another friend fighting cancer with every ounce of her being.  She is having a tough fight and I'm trying to be supportive but it's also another reminder of how fragile life is.  To her I say.... Lord, I ask you to turn her weakness into strength, her suffering into compassion, her sorrow into joy, and pain into comfort for Darlene. May she trust in your goodness and hope in your faithfulness, even in the middle of this suffering. Let her be filled with patience in your presence as she waits for your healing touch. Hug those you love and tell them how you feel about them everyday.  You never know what tomorrow will bring.

4). I've learned I need my husband in my life and I'm so lucky to have him.  I think the longer we are together, the more he means to me.  He's so supportive and such a blessing.  I never knew that love like ours really existed in this world.  I can't wait to walk in the door and see him everyday after all these years.  Our marriage is really a 100% effort on both sides.  Most people say it's 50 50 I feel like it needs to be 100 100 to work.  I refuse to say "he's my soul mate" because that is way too over used. All I will say is I'm with the person that I'm meant to be with for eternity.  

5).  I've learned that the 40's brings with them a slower metabolism. This is a challenge for me.  I have to watch what I eat and how much I'm working out for the first time in a long time and I'm not sure I like that lol.  I have to control sugar consumption and read labels and I'm thinking I may as well get used to that cause I don't think that's gonna change anytime soon.

Take a minute to think about what you've learned about yourself so far this year.  If the answer is nothing.....than you need to take some "me" time.  Everyone deserves some "me" time, that's something else I learned this year.