Thank you for one more year!

The holidays are here and life is busy as ever.  To all you empty nesters, just inhale.  It's hard to deal with your children being gone for the first Christmas.  This is not the first year for my husband and I to be without the kids but we have noticed it never gets easier.  I wish I could have all three of them and their significant others move home and have them around me everyday.  I don't think that's realistic or even healthy. Which brings me to another point.  We can't put our children in charge of our happiness.  Whether they are grown ups, teens or very young, it's not their job to make us happy.  It's our job to figure out how to adjust to the changes in life. 

It wasn't easy but this is what has worked for me.  I decided to be grateful for what time I get even if it's a couple hours a month.  I focus on those two hours I got to spend with our kids and not all the days I went without seeing or hearing from them.  I have figured out a lot of life is how you look at it and what perspective you decide to take.  By focusing on how many days it's been since you've seen them, you just pull that negative thinking to you.  If instead you focus on the time you get (no matter how short or long it may be) I feel grateful they made time for me.  I have a husband who is still my best friend.  I have interests and  hobbies that keep me busy.  It's not my children's job to entertain me and not their job to make me happy. Happiness has to come from within.  

Trust me when I say I don't have all the answers.  We moved to the Cleveland area for Ken's promotion and it's been a tough transition for me.  The intention was to downsize our home because we are middle aged with no kids at home anymore (except when Steph is home from Roatan). Then came the "well what if the kids want to come spend the night" and "well we need room for someday grandkids and family to visit too".  We ended up buying a four bedroom home with a finished basement. Sometimes I still can't understand why this was the house we felt was perfect for the two of us!  I mean we both absolutely love it but we do not need all this space.

Life is always changing and evolving and I don't think I would want it any other way. Sometimes during those changes we can struggle.  It's ok to admit that and take time to figure out how to maneuver the new life that is before you.  Despite the perfect life we see everyone portrait on social media we have to remember that is not the total picture.  If you do have a perfect life with no struggles, problems or sadness I salute you!  You have it all figured out and I am sincere when I say good for you.  For the rest of us.....just hang in there! Life is not always easy but it's a beautiful ride.